


Finding paradise with you

by OhMercutio



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: 2k of Gally and Aris dealing with guilt and grief and finding each other as/for support, M/M, Past Ben/Gally I think, Unbeta-ed, set in paradise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:34:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8357398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMercutio/pseuds/OhMercutio
Summary: Everything was ‘fine’ and Gally hated it.He hated how happy people were becoming. How they seemed to be able to move on just like that. They felt safe here; they were obviously still scared, you could practically smell it on them. And the sounds of people trapped in nightmares each night destroyed any pretense that there were no lasting effects. But despite it all people were beginning to have hope again. And he hated it. It felt like a betrayal to everyone they had failed to save. To Ben.





	

Everything was ‘fine’ and Gally hated it.

He hated how happy people were becoming. How they seemed to be able to move on just like that. They felt safe here; they were obviously still scared, you could practically smell it on them. And the sounds of people trapped in nightmares each night destroyed any pretense that there were no lasting effects. But despite it all people were beginning to have hope again. And he hated it. It felt like a betrayal to everyone they had failed to save. To Ben.

It was only made harder by the way Aris looked at him. He knew that the boy had heard him. Late at night when everyone was trying to sleep and there was nothing to distract him. He knew Aris had heard him crying and that was probably the worst bit of all because he tried to help.

                                                 

* * *

Aris hadn’t known Ben, not really. He had seen his name on a file back when they worked with WICKED, but he was part of group A and therefore Thomas and Teresa’s business no his. He had seen the name; it was printed next to his real one but for the life of him Aris couldn’t remember what it had said now, just remembered ‘Subject Name: BEN’.  No, he didn’t know Ben, but he had heard all the stories. In the weeks since they arrived in paradise he had been told a lot of stories about the early days back in the maze. When Ben had arrived he immediately tried to run. Gally had been the one who managed to trip him and was then assigned to show him around. That’s where it had started.

‘Ben of the Builders’ under Gally’s supervision and one of the few gladers who could actually call the other boy a friend.  Ben, who had, Minho had confessed quietly one night after Gally had stormed off somewhere, been quietly and carefully so much more. Not many of the gladers knew about the true extent of the closeness between Ben and Gally, and those who had known didn’t care. Everyone understood the need to find something good in this life and cling to it.

But that was where the problem was. Gally hadn’t been able to hold onto Ben. He hadn’t been able to protect or save him. And Aris knew the pain this simple fact caused Gally every time his mind was allowed to rest long enough to slip back to the absence of the smiling, joking blonde who should have been at his side.

And so he cried at night, and only Aris heard. He tried to pretend he didn’t but Gally saw the change. He tried to help but he didn’t know what to say. Gally needed Ben not him. But Aris did his best and tried to put on a brave face as his heart broke.

                                               

* * *

Aris doesn’t sleep heavily these days, he’s hyperaware of where Gally is lying just across the room from him. The smallest sound from him will cause Aris to wake up. Tonight the sound that wakes him is not small. Gally’s body is shaking when Aris looks over to him, he is scrabbling at the floor and whimpering. As Aris steps carefully towards him he can hear the ragged breaths and broken cries   
 “I’m sorry- I’m- I’m sorry. Sorry. Ben I’m, I couldn’t. I’m sorry. Forgive-forgive me, please!”    
Aris swallowed hard bracing himself to do what he hasn’t dared to in all the nights up till now. He resolved himself when Gally started to cry again, he was louder tonight and Aris wondered what had happened earlier in the day to make Gally so bad this time. He crouched cautiously nest to him, reaching out to shake his shoulder, gently at first but harder when it had no effect.   
 “Gally”   
He whispered and suddenly Gally’s eyes shot open and he pushed himself off the floor violently. Aris fell backwards off of the balls of his feet, startled by the movement. Gally glared at him for a moment, then as realization washed over him his face softened. He checked himself wiping his cheeks and eyes with the back of one hand.    
“What do you want Aris?” his voice was rough with sleep and hoarse from his crying.   
 “Y-you were having a-” Aris was about to say nightmare but the word stuck in his throat “you were calling out in your sleep” he said lamely pushing himself back up to sit in front of Gally.  
 “Sorry” Aris said quietly aware of the embarrassment Gally was feeling by the way he pulled his shoulders up and looked at his hands.  Gally shook his head slightly,   
“no, thanks, I-” “its okay. You don’t have to explain or anything…but, um, I’m here if you ever need to talk okay.”   
He tried to sound comforting but was worried he hadn’t pulled it off given the look he received from Gally.   
 “Well I guess I should-” Aris gestured vaguely back to where he had been sleeping.    
“huh? Oh, yeh. Umm g’night.” Gally swallowed dryly and rubbed his face with his hands, which Aris took as his queue to leave.

                                               

* * *

Aris did his best to comfort Gally. He really did. He helped distract him if he started to get dark when they were in break. He’d make sure he wasn’t left alone for too long and would fill any threatening silences with light easy chatter.

He found a strange kind of comfort in Gally’s presence. They were both the outcasts in their groups. Although Thomas didn’t seem to hate or blame him for what had happened he knew that there would always be a rift between them and well Minho and the others they quite simply trusted Thomas more than Aris, and the girls had never liked him. All civil enough but he still felt isolated, a ‘something other’ with in the group. Gally was a kindred spirit in this regard, shunned and distrusted by the people he used to consider family.

Gally had no one without Ben and Aris had no one without Rachel. And so they found each other, were alone but alone together. And Aris knew he couldn’t ask for more. It wasn’t his place to ask for more from Gally. He knew he wasn’t worthy of more. He would never be what Gally needed, never be good enough, never be Ben. But it didn’t stop him dreaming. He had said it so many times in his head, in so many ways. But he would never say it out loud, wouldn’t burden Gally with his clumsy selfish emotions.

Sometimes nights, nights when Gally was particularly bad and Aris had to physically lift and shack Gally to wake him up and stop him from screaming Bens name. Those nights Aris found himself wishing he was the one who had died. Wished he could trade places with Ben. Wished there was someway things could be different so that it was Ben here; shaking Gally awake rocking him and whispering comfort to him, reassure him that they where safe and together. Say the words that Aris would never let himself say, the words he knew Gally needed to hear. Just not from him.

Those nights where the worst and Aris was lucky if he get any sleep after waking and calming Gally. Aris would cry to himself softly, cursing himself for not being who Gally needed. Not being enough to make him happy.

                                             

* * *

Some days Gally wanted to give it all up. But at the end of the day he was a coward and could never bring himself to do it. so instead he cried himself to sleep whispering apologies to Ben until he’s heart couldn’t take the guilt and his consciousness would switch off. That’s when the dreams would start.

At first it was just him on his knees crying and telling a shadowy figure, that he knew was Ben, that he loved him and he was sorry. But as the nights went on the figure became clearer and clearer. Until one night Ben was right in front of him and he spoke, no, not spoke, screamed. He screamed like he had at his banishing. But he wasn’t the one begging now. He was screaming about how Gally had failed him, had only care about himself. That he had never really love him. This time it was Gally begging, reaching out, trying to hold onto the boy he hadn’t been able to save.

Gally was screaming Ben’s name as the boy faded into shadow again and he was being shaken roughly awake by strong steady hands.   
  
That was the thing with Aris. At first Gally had hated the fact that the other boy had seen this side of him. It was humiliating to not be in control of his emotions and he couldn’t stand the idea of this changing the way Aris saw him, or treated him. He wouldn’t let himself admit it but Aris was the first person he actually felt comfortable around since he had been in the glade with Ben. The two of them could being together practically in silence and it just felt right.

The change was small but Gally noticed it; as his nightmares and missing Ben got harder to bare Aris’ mood darkened. It wasn’t there most of the time. He tried so hard to hide it when he was in Gally’s company. But as soon as he thought Gally wasn’t looking he would slip back into a pained expression, his shoulders slumping and his eyes darkening.

Gally didn’t know what to do, he found himself preoccupied worrying about how to find out what was wrong while he was meant to be working. He assumed it was the task Aris had assigned himself as Gally’s nightly guardian. He began to feel guilty for a different reason then. He was failing again. He had already lost Ben to madness and the maze, he couldn’t face losing the only comfort he had now. His dreams changed then; slowly, as they had when he started dreaming of Ben. He noticed it properly when he realized he couldn’t quite distinguish who it was standing in front of him. The face was changing, flickering between Ben screaming and swearing at him for failing him and Aris, sobbing quietly into his hands saying something about not being able to do anything right.

When Gally woke up Aris wasn’t shaking him, this time he was sitting a few feet away draped in the gloom of the small room they slept in. His expression was one of shock and confusion, his hands shook slightly where he help them reaching uncertainly towards Gally’s arm.  


Gally sat up abruptly and wiped at his face where he could feel the cold dampness of his tears.  
“Aris?” The smaller boy didn’t move or speak  
“What’s wrong?” A sudden wave of panic hit him “Did I do something!? Are you okay?”  
Aris just watched him, blinking carefully. Gally let out a shaky breath moving closer terrified that he had managed to harm Aris in some way.   
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened but I’m sorry.”  
Aris  clenched his teeth, leaning away from Gally’s hand.  
“You- you were crying again.” His voice was so small  
“Yeh- I know. Sorry. I can’t help it, dreams you know.”  
“You where talking too,”  
Gally swallowed mentally backtracking through the dream he had just woken from, _what could he possibly have said that would make Aris react like this?_

His dream was fuzzy but he remembered how the shadowy figure had changed halfway through. It had become Aris he had been crying again, apologizing for not being Ben,  _which was ridiculous_. Gally had reached out to him held onto his hands and pulled him close. Told him not to cry and that he was more than enough. That Ben was gone but that wasn’t Aris burden to carry. That there was nothing Gally needed now except for Aris to smile again, to talk to him about the small things that made him laugh. That he would do anything to just have Aris by his side, to have him laugh again.

Gally blanched, he couldn’t have possibly, no, surely he would have woken up.  
“Aris, did I- did I say something to you?”  
Aris flushed and looked down at his hands, now clenched in his lap. Gally moved closer again,  
“Aris?” He reached out slowly and Aris looked up at him. When their eyes met Gally could see the tears that brimmed in Aris’  
“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. It was wishes for Ben right.” Aris’ voice pitched and cracked slightly.  
That was enough for Gally, he pulled Aris into a tight hug and pressed his hand to the back of the brunets head.  
“I wasn’t. I meant it. All of it! I’m so sorry Aris I should have worked all of this out sooner but I’m an idiot. I took you for granted and didn’t see how much you meant to me. It- it was selfish but I’ve got it sorted now. I know what I want.”  
Aris pulled back so that they were looking into each others eyes again, he sniffed and bit his lip.  
“I thought-” he paused when Gally glanced at his lips smirking.  
“Don’t think, it’s not good for you. I should know.”  
“But-”  
“But nothing. I’m not wrong am I?”  
Aris opened then closed his mouth, looking down he nodded.  
“Good”  
Gally moved the hand that was still resting on Aris’ shoulder to to his chin, tilting his head up before leaning in, pushing Aris onto his back and catching his lips with his own.


End file.
